A new year, a new me

Obviously, I've been inactive in posting for 2 months. In part, this was because I was undergoing psychiatric evaluation and wanted to wait until the assessment was complete. The words "psychiatric evaluation" may scare some people. That's normal, I suppose, but not necessarily right in my opinion. Hopefully, this will change over time.

For the record, I am completely fine - very healthy. I was asked by my GP last fall if I'd ever seen a psychiatrist. While I had been diagnosed with depression previously (I am not depressed now), I'd always been curious about my anxiety condition. I was quite sick 4 years ago and had not received a detailed diagnosis. I literally jumped at the offer to see the psychiatrist. I think I made a positive choice in learning more about my body, my mind, and myself.

As it turns out, what I've been living with for years is Panic Disorder (with mild agoraphobia). I'd rather call it a condition and not a disorder - but I'm not ashamed to live with it. In an acute state it can make life quite disorderly. However, when it's under control, like in my situation, I can live a very good life. I think the more people who talk about mental illness, the faster we can debunk the stigma surrounding it. So, I am not worried about telling the world.

Below you'll find a definition of Panic Disorder from the Canadian Mental Health Association.

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Fear is a natural, instinctive reaction to dangerous situations. It is what causes us to escape from a burning building. A sudden rush of fear protects us, by alerting us to danger and stimulating adrenaline so that we think and move more rapidly than usual. But for people with phobias or panic disorder, fear is an overwhelming and unwelcome feature of their daily lives. They are struck by fears which they know are irrational and illogical, yet which are so powerful and unpredictable that they drastically change their lives to avoid feared situations.

Phobias and panic disorder are anxiety disorders, which are among the most common of mental health problems. In fact, it is estimated that 1 in 10 people are affected by anxiety disorders. These conditions are medical disorders, but they are often mistaken for weakness or self-indulgence. Because of this common mistake and because of the stigma associated with mental illness, people with anxiety disorders are often misunderstood and neglected, by society and sometimes by health care professionals.

Treatment exists to help people with phobias and panic disorder, and research into new therapies and techniques continues. By learning more about these conditions, you can help remove the social stigma that prevents so many people from seeking help to cope with their illness.

It is estimated that some 2 million Canadians suffer from panic disorder. Of those who have sought treatment for their symptoms, approximately two-thirds are women. Panic disorder typically begins in a person's late teen years, or early 2Os, but children are known to suffer from the disorder. Research is discovering more information about genetic causes of panic disorder.

Agoraphobia frequently accompanies panic disorder. This is the fear of being in places or situations which would be difficult to escape from, or in which it would be difficult to find help, should a person suffer a panic attack.

Panic Disorder without Agoraphobia - Panic attacks are terrifying episodes during which the person is convinced they are about to die or collapse. Without warning, an individual is suddenly overwhelmed by emotional and physical sensations that signal imminent death. These can include heart palpitations, choking, nausea, faintness, dizziness, chest pain and sweating.

Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia - Women are roughly twice as likely as men to be diagnosed with panic disorder with agoraphobia. This occurs when a person with panic disorder goes to great lengths to avoid situations which they feel they could not escape from or obtain help if struck by a panic attack. In some cases, people develop a fear of being alone. People with agoraphobia often avoid public transport or shopping malls, others refuse to leave their homes, sometimes for years at a time.

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Not fun stuff. But, I made it through! I don't wish to go into further detail at this time. But, I will accept emails and do my best to respond to them individually if there are questions or comments.

My second reason for not posting of late is because I am focusing my energies on community volunteerism and other forms of advocacy, primarily "in person". I feel that it is the best way for me to help others at this point in my life. I may still post from time to time, but infrequently.

To all Ottawa readers, I encourage you to check out eMentalHealth.ca for your mental health resource needs. The site includes a wealth of information on housing and employment resources, counseling and crisis services, etc.

Thanks for reading,

Jennifer

Way to go Ipsos-Reid - keep the surveys coming on mental health

New mental health survey sheds more light on impact of depression in the workplace

TORONTO, Nov. 19, 2007 /CNW/ - The Great-West Life Centre for Mental
Health in the Workplace (the Centre) today announced the release of a new
survey on the impact of depression in the workplace. The survey, commissioned
by the Centre and conducted by Ipsos-Reid this fall in association with the
Global Business and Economic Roundtable on Addiction and Mental Health, asked
managers and employees about their personal experiences with depression.

The Great-West Life Centre for Mental Health in the Workplace represents
a long term, public service commitment. The Centre has two objectives: to
increase knowledge and awareness, and to turn knowledge into action - to help
employers, managers and employees prevent and reduce the impacts of mental
health issues in the workplace.

"This study sheds additional light on the issue of depression in the
workplace and provides us with some revealing data on how managers and
employees view this serious issue," said Mike Schwartz, Executive Director of
the Centre. "This is the first research project to be commissioned by the
Centre, and consistent with our public service objective, we are pleased to
make the results available to the public and to the Mental Health Commission
of Canada."

The survey revealed that:

- 19% of Canadian workers missed three or more work days due to
depression, stress or anxiety in the last 12 months
- 64% of employees who had been diagnosed as clinically depressed or
believed that they suffered from depression felt that a specific
event in their life triggered the depression
- Only 18% of Canadian managers said they had received training to help
them identify and deal with employees who exhibit signs of depression

Schwartz encouraged Canadian employers, managers and employees to take
time to read and understand the survey, and to become engaged in the issue of
mental health.

"The issue of mental health is complex and touches many lives," said
Schwartz. "By becoming informed and engaged, Canadian employers, managers and
employees can take steps today to better address workplace mental health
issues."

About the Great-West Life Centre for Mental Health in the Workplace

Established in June 2007, the Great-West Life Centre for Mental Health in
the Workplace brings a unique focus to an important issue for Canadian
employers, managers, and employees. Focused specifically on the workplace, the
Centre is working to increase awareness and understanding and to help
employers take concrete steps to prevent and reduce employee mental health
issues. The Centre is a long-term, public service commitment to this very
important social and economic issue.

Results of the Ipsos-Reid survey will be available shortly on the
Centre's website at www.greatwestlife.com/centreformentalhealth.

About Great-West Life

Founded in Winnipeg in 1891, The Great-West Life Assurance Company has
long been a leader in the group benefits marketplace. Great-West Life is a
member of the Power Financial Corporation group of companies.

For further information: Marlene Klassen, APR, Assistant Vice-President,
Communications Services, (204) 946-7705

Out-of-body experiences

Have you ever had an out-of-body experience?

If you live with an anxiety disorder, chances are you have or at least come close. During a severe panic attack (some are milder than others) one can experience depersonalization and/or derealization. I have often experienced derealization during panic attacks, but only once did I have an extreme case of depersonalization. It was absolutely terrifying. Literally, I lost my "sense of self" and was outside my own body - is was like I had a mind and no body - sort of floating in mid air or something. It sounds crazy, and well, it was. In fact, I have not found an online definition which describes my episode in its fully intensity (sorry Wikipedia!).

Interestingly, scientists are now creating virtual out-of-body experiences for willing volunteers. I suppose that this virtual method may soon be used for desensitization purposes. While I don't think I would be first in line to try it, nonetheless, it might be worth trying if it is shown to reduce the severity of panic attacks.

Canada's public service is depressed

Number of depressed workers claiming disability doubles in a decade

Don Butler
The Ottawa Citizen

Depressed and anxious public servants comprise by far the largest group of federal employees on disability insurance. And their ranks have expanded rapidly since the early 1990s.

The information appears in a major federal study of public service compensation that calls for sweeping changes to benefit programs for government workers.

The study was posted without fanfare on Treasury Board's website last week.

According to the study, about 4.3 per cent of the federal government's 200,000 unionized workers -- nearly 8,500 in total -- were on disability in 2002.

Though that proportion hasn't changed markedly since the mid-1990s, the number of public servants citing disabling depression and anxiety nearly doubled to more than 44 per cent in 2002 from 23.7 in 1991.

That's far and away the largest trigger for disability claims by federal government workers. Cancer, at 14.2 per cent, is next.

The government's 40,000 or so managers and non-unionized workers make proportionately fewer disability claims than their unionized colleagues. In 2002, just 2.8 per cent were collecting disability insurance. But fully 58 per cent of them cited "mental/nervous" afflictions in 2002, up from 44 per cent in 1992.

For the rest of this story see www.ottawacitizen.com.

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While I worked for the public service for only 2 years I knew a few people who took stress leave in my department. In fact, it was during my time in the public service that my own mental illness progressed rapidly. At the end of my stint in the public service I had what some would call a nervous breakdown.

Note that I am not suggesting that working for the public service caused me to become sick. It was a combination of many factors. However, I can say with certainty that one department in which I worked was not conducive to good mental health. At the time, it wasn't a good fit for me. Nonetheless, I managed to produce excellent work during my time there and I received positive reviews by my supervisors.

For the most part, I enjoyed my work experience. I learned tons and was paid well considering I started as a student. I also met some great people who are still friends today. There were just certain frustrations with working for the public services that I have not experienced with the same severity elsewhere.

Out of respect for my former colleagues and government employer I would rather not go into detail about the negatives here. If you have questions, please email me.

Time for renewal

No matter how much I prepare for moving, it still becomes a stressful event. To give you a sense of what I went through this weekend my movers were 6 hours late and scratched up my dining room table. At least I HAD movers as it would have taken a long time to do everything without them.

Now, to finish unpacking. This part is a mentally healthy event. Establishing order in my surroundings is something others with anxiety disorders can relate to, I'm sure.

Life after death: coping with bereavement

(article from the Public Health Agency of Canada)

When someone close to us dies, it can sometimes feel as if we'll never get over the loss. As much as death is a part of life for everyone, it is also one of the most difficult things to cope with. But getting through grief and being able to move on with life is essential to our mental health and well-being. Fortunately, there are reasonably predictable stages of grief.

An important thing to understand is that it is necessary to grieve a loss. It's tempting to try to find ways to step around grief, but the reality is you only get to the other side of grief by walking right through the middle of it.

The three stages of grieving

"You only get to the other side of grief by walking right through the middle of it."

Even though grief is a process everyone goes through, no two people go through it exactly the same way. The way you show grief may depend on your culture, and how much grief you feel can depend on your relationship with the person who died.

Children show and feel grief differently than adults do and they may also need help to understand death. Losing a spouse can involve many practical as well as emotional upheavals. Despite the diversity of how people experience grief, there are three basic stages of grieving, according to the Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA), though you may go back and forth between them for a long time:

1. Shock
Some people will say they didn't even cry when someone they loved died. In fact, they might not have cried for days or weeks after. Shock and numbness are the typical immediate responses to the death of a loved one—even when the death was prepared for (because in reality, nothing can ever completely prepare you for the death of someone close to you). People who have been through this stage describe it as going through the motions, and it's a protective stage that helps a mourner get through the intensity and the busyness of the early post-death days. The numbness can last for weeks or even months.

2. Disorganization
After the numbness comes the emotion, and it can come in many shapes and forms: exhaustion, anxiety, sadness and weepiness, moodiness, depression, loss of control, feeling withdrawn. This can, and should be a time of coming to terms not only with the loss but also with the relationship you had with the person. This can be especially difficult if there were problems that had not been resolved before the death. You may experience some of these feelings for many months, and sometimes even for years.

3. Reorganization
The loss of someone you love is not something you ever get over entirely. But eventually, there will come a day when you do recognize yourself again—when you are out with friends and realize you've had a wonderful time, or when you notice that you are appreciating day-to-day activities again.

Illustration of a journal and pen

How to help yourself

There are some ways that you can support yourself during the process of grieving:

* Take care of your health. The stress response of losing someone you love may have an impact on your immune system. Make sure to eat well, keep up with regular exercise and get plenty of sleep.

* Don't be afraid to express how you feel by talking, crying, writing. Expressing feelings helps healing.

* Reach out to family and friends. Help others understand what you need.

* Avoid making major changes, at least for the first several months.

* Be patient with yourself and with the process. It takes time but life will get better.

If you feel you need more assistance, speak with your family doctor or other health professional. You can also contact the Canadian Mental Health Association location near you.

Grieving is natural and normal. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

Date published: March 1, 2007

BulletThis article was prepared by Toronto journalist Nora Underwood and reviewed by The Canadian Mental Health Association, the Canadian Health Network Mental Health Affiliate.

Nature/nurture: The stigma of inheritance and the inheritance of stigma

For many who develop it, mental illness comes from a combination of factors. In my situation, I believe that genetics played a role. Knowing one’s family medical history is extremely important for the prevention and early treatment of a variety of health conditions. However, oftentimes mental illness isn’t discussed between family members. I call this phenomenon the “silent stigma”. The reasons for this are namely fear and weakness, or a combination of the two. A family member may fear for the state of their loved one or fear for developing an illness themselves.

Secondly and sometimes concurrently, a family member may believe mental illness is a sign of weakness. For those in the boomer generation who some of which may hold this stigma, I don’t blame them a great deal. They were raised in a time when those with mental illness were locked away. This segregation only perpetuated stigma. It was a societal problem.

Now, these folks are not off the hook. They have lots of learning to do, regardless of the level of stigma they may hold (if they hold one - but I argue everyone does to a degree - even myself somewhat). With the development of technology and research over the past couple decades, we have come a long way in understanding mental illness. Yet, there is so much more to discover. The mental health field is severely underfunded. No matter where we are on this path, responsibility lies with our elders in teaching our younger generations about mental illness – preventing today’s youth from developing the stigma that once allowed for the rejection of the mentally ill.

Contrary to the silent stigma, there are families where mental illness happens to be mentioned in conversation. However, stigma may be prevalent in attached another form: humour. It is often used to make light of or “shrug off” the significance of mental illness in the family. Terms like “crazy Aunt so and so”, for example, are used frequently. Mental illness is seen as a weakness and something that perhaps is avoidable. It's as though the family member is seen as provoking their illness on purpose.

With early intervention and proper treatment, many people have the opportunity to lessen the severity of their mental illness. Although some people may try their hardest to keep healthy to prevent illness, in general, they can still develop it. Genetics could be at play as well as other factors. However, genetics is one factor that cannot be manipulated, at least not post-natally.

I promised in my previous post to discuss some of my own experiences with mental illness. I’d like to tell you a bit about my family history. I was surprised to find out recently how mental illness has affected my family. On one side of my family, I have some great aunts and uncles who have/had severe mental illness: schizophrenia, depression, anxiety disorders, and perhaps alcoholism.

One of my great uncles, Chris Gage, was an extraordinary jazz pianist who lived and performed in Vancouver in the 50s and 60s. I had heard little about him growing up, only that he was a musician. Through my own exploration, I found that my great uncle was so good that Oscar Peterson once publicly stated that Chris Gage was the only pianist he feared.

In 1965 Chris Gage died from suicide. The Vancouver jazz scene died thereafter for a long time.

Don Thompson, one of Chris' bandmates who went on to lead a successful music career, produced a DVD for me with clips from old television programmes that showcased the band. I have chosen to educate my [elder and younger] family members about Chris’ life and to appreciate his work in the Canadian jazz scene. Although we never met, I miss him.

When shopping is stressful

Christmas holidays can be stressful! Whether you are hosting an event or traveling to one, there are so many things you need to think about. One of them is buying gifts. I find one of the most stressful events at this time of year is going to the shopping malls.

I have decided this year to avoid shopping malls as much as possible. The buildings are crowded and everyone seems rushed. It's not the type of atmosphere that gets me in the holiday mood.

I am not pessimistic, really. I just think that my mental health (and perhaps my wallet too) would benefit from removing myself from that environment. There are lots of great independent stores that I like to go to. I find I often receive better service from them, too.

We try to save ourselves money and find convenience in shopping at big-box stores and shopping malls when really they can be just plain stressful. It's quite the paradox.

Some of you are laughing right now because you either 1) did your shopping in August; or 2) did your shopping online. For those of you who haven't finished yours, if you want to avoid the mall, try some of your local family-run shops. You may be pleasantly surprised.

Please feel free to share your shopping experiences here. Do you prefer the mall? If you have problems shopping at this time of the year what do you do?