Obviously, I've been inactive in posting for 2 months. In part, this was because I was undergoing psychiatric evaluation and wanted to wait until the assessment was complete. The words "psychiatric evaluation" may scare some people. That's normal, I suppose, but not necessarily right in my opinion. Hopefully, this will change over time.
For the record, I am completely fine - very healthy. I was asked by my GP last fall if I'd ever seen a psychiatrist. While I had been diagnosed with depression previously (I am not depressed now), I'd always been curious about my anxiety condition. I was quite sick 4 years ago and had not received a detailed diagnosis. I literally jumped at the offer to see the psychiatrist. I think I made a positive choice in learning more about my body, my mind, and myself.
As it turns out, what I've been living with for years is Panic Disorder (with mild agoraphobia). I'd rather call it a condition and not a disorder - but I'm not ashamed to live with it. In an acute state it can make life quite disorderly. However, when it's under control, like in my situation, I can live a very good life. I think the more people who talk about mental illness, the faster we can debunk the stigma surrounding it. So, I am not worried about telling the world.
Below you'll find a definition of Panic Disorder from the Canadian Mental Health Association.
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Fear is a natural, instinctive reaction to dangerous situations. It is what causes us to escape from a burning building. A sudden rush of fear protects us, by alerting us to danger and stimulating adrenaline so that we think and move more rapidly than usual. But for people with phobias or panic disorder, fear is an overwhelming and unwelcome feature of their daily lives. They are struck by fears which they know are irrational and illogical, yet which are so powerful and unpredictable that they drastically change their lives to avoid feared situations.
Phobias and panic disorder are anxiety disorders, which are among the most common of mental health problems. In fact, it is estimated that 1 in 10 people are affected by anxiety disorders. These conditions are medical disorders, but they are often mistaken for weakness or self-indulgence. Because of this common mistake and because of the stigma associated with mental illness, people with anxiety disorders are often misunderstood and neglected, by society and sometimes by health care professionals.
Treatment exists to help people with phobias and panic disorder, and research into new therapies and techniques continues. By learning more about these conditions, you can help remove the social stigma that prevents so many people from seeking help to cope with their illness.
It is estimated that some 2 million Canadians suffer from panic disorder. Of those who have sought treatment for their symptoms, approximately two-thirds are women. Panic disorder typically begins in a person's late teen years, or early 2Os, but children are known to suffer from the disorder. Research is discovering more information about genetic causes of panic disorder.
Agoraphobia frequently accompanies panic disorder. This is the fear of being in places or situations which would be difficult to escape from, or in which it would be difficult to find help, should a person suffer a panic attack.
Panic Disorder without Agoraphobia - Panic attacks are terrifying episodes during which the person is convinced they are about to die or collapse. Without warning, an individual is suddenly overwhelmed by emotional and physical sensations that signal imminent death. These can include heart palpitations, choking, nausea, faintness, dizziness, chest pain and sweating.
Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia - Women are roughly twice as likely as men to be diagnosed with panic disorder with agoraphobia. This occurs when a person with panic disorder goes to great lengths to avoid situations which they feel they could not escape from or obtain help if struck by a panic attack. In some cases, people develop a fear of being alone. People with agoraphobia often avoid public transport or shopping malls, others refuse to leave their homes, sometimes for years at a time.
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Not fun stuff. But, I made it through! I don't wish to go into further detail at this time. But, I will accept emails and do my best to respond to them individually if there are questions or comments.
My second reason for not posting of late is because I am focusing my energies on community volunteerism and other forms of advocacy, primarily "in person". I feel that it is the best way for me to help others at this point in my life. I may still post from time to time, but infrequently.
To all Ottawa readers, I encourage you to check out eMentalHealth.ca for your mental health resource needs. The site includes a wealth of information on housing and employment resources, counseling and crisis services, etc.
Thanks for reading,
Jennifer
Showing posts with label personal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal. Show all posts
Monday, February 11, 2008
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Mental Illness Awareness Week 2007
Dear readers,
I'd like to reach out and say I'm thinking about those of you who are currently experiencing mental illness and those who have lost someone to suicide. Whether or not we know each other, I'm listening.
~Let there be light~
Jennifer
Faces of Mental Illness Awareness Week 2007
Meet this year's Faces
My story from MIAW 2006
About Mental Illness Awareness Week
Mental Illness Awareness Week (MIAW) is an annual national public education campaign designed to help open the eyes of Canadians to the reality of mental illness. The week was established in 1992 by the Canadian Psychiatric Association, and is now coordinated by the Canadian Alliance on Mental Illness and Mental Health (CAMIMH) in cooperation with all its member organizations and many other supporters across Canada.
Campaign elements include: a grassroots public education initiative; a nationally-distributed poster and bookmark series; the 5th Annual Champions of Mental Health Awards luncheon in Ottawa and an education initiative with federal Members of Parliament, both in their home ridings and on Parliament Hill.
I'd like to reach out and say I'm thinking about those of you who are currently experiencing mental illness and those who have lost someone to suicide. Whether or not we know each other, I'm listening.
~Let there be light~
Jennifer
Faces of Mental Illness Awareness Week 2007
Meet this year's Faces
My story from MIAW 2006
About Mental Illness Awareness Week
Mental Illness Awareness Week (MIAW) is an annual national public education campaign designed to help open the eyes of Canadians to the reality of mental illness. The week was established in 1992 by the Canadian Psychiatric Association, and is now coordinated by the Canadian Alliance on Mental Illness and Mental Health (CAMIMH) in cooperation with all its member organizations and many other supporters across Canada.
Campaign elements include: a grassroots public education initiative; a nationally-distributed poster and bookmark series; the 5th Annual Champions of Mental Health Awards luncheon in Ottawa and an education initiative with federal Members of Parliament, both in their home ridings and on Parliament Hill.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Out-of-body experiences
Have you ever had an out-of-body experience?
If you live with an anxiety disorder, chances are you have or at least come close. During a severe panic attack (some are milder than others) one can experience depersonalization and/or derealization. I have often experienced derealization during panic attacks, but only once did I have an extreme case of depersonalization. It was absolutely terrifying. Literally, I lost my "sense of self" and was outside my own body - is was like I had a mind and no body - sort of floating in mid air or something. It sounds crazy, and well, it was. In fact, I have not found an online definition which describes my episode in its fully intensity (sorry Wikipedia!).
Interestingly, scientists are now creating virtual out-of-body experiences for willing volunteers. I suppose that this virtual method may soon be used for desensitization purposes. While I don't think I would be first in line to try it, nonetheless, it might be worth trying if it is shown to reduce the severity of panic attacks.
If you live with an anxiety disorder, chances are you have or at least come close. During a severe panic attack (some are milder than others) one can experience depersonalization and/or derealization. I have often experienced derealization during panic attacks, but only once did I have an extreme case of depersonalization. It was absolutely terrifying. Literally, I lost my "sense of self" and was outside my own body - is was like I had a mind and no body - sort of floating in mid air or something. It sounds crazy, and well, it was. In fact, I have not found an online definition which describes my episode in its fully intensity (sorry Wikipedia!).
Interestingly, scientists are now creating virtual out-of-body experiences for willing volunteers. I suppose that this virtual method may soon be used for desensitization purposes. While I don't think I would be first in line to try it, nonetheless, it might be worth trying if it is shown to reduce the severity of panic attacks.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Mental Illness and Relationships
I am interested in finding out from my readers, especially those who've experienced mental illness, what their relationships are like with others who have mental illness. I'd like to hear your opinion on 2 things:
-the quantity of relationships one with mental illness has with others with mental illness compared to that of the regular population (outside of support groups, health facilities, etc); other than the normal meetings spots previously mentioned, do find people with mental illness tend to group together? Are there patterns? Are we 'drawn to one another' somehow?
-the quality of the relationship one with mental illness has with others with mental illness; I'm most interested in stories involving work or personal relationships outside of typical health settings. How did you find out the other person had a mental illness? Did you disclose first?
While scientific research is interesting, I'd really like to know your opinion from your own experience. You can post as anonymous if you'd like. Note, this is not an official survey, just an online discussion.
-the quantity of relationships one with mental illness has with others with mental illness compared to that of the regular population (outside of support groups, health facilities, etc); other than the normal meetings spots previously mentioned, do find people with mental illness tend to group together? Are there patterns? Are we 'drawn to one another' somehow?
-the quality of the relationship one with mental illness has with others with mental illness; I'm most interested in stories involving work or personal relationships outside of typical health settings. How did you find out the other person had a mental illness? Did you disclose first?
While scientific research is interesting, I'd really like to know your opinion from your own experience. You can post as anonymous if you'd like. Note, this is not an official survey, just an online discussion.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Allergies and mental health
I've had a ragweed allergy every August and September for the last few years. It seems to get worse each year and why it only appeared in my 20s is beyond me. Anyway, I do take an antihistamine to prevent the sneezing, etc. However, I am having difficulty with the fatigue-lethargy-malaise combo. Many of you with allergies know what I'm talking about. How do you cope? For those of you who experience depression or other mental health issues how do you cope when you're depressed during allergy season?
This article is quite relevant:
Psychiatric News September 20, 2002
Volume 37 Number 18
© 2002 American Psychiatric Association
p. 23
Clinical & Research News
Ragweed Allergy May Trigger Depression, Malaise
Joan Arehart-Treichel
Sneezing, a runny or congested nose, and swollen, itchy eyes are the well-known symptoms of ragweed allergy. And to those should be added malaise and depression, at least for some ragweed sufferers.
August and September are rarely a favorite time of year for the some 36 million Americans who suffer from ragweed allergies. During these weeks, ragweed pollen moves their immune systems into high gear and leads to sneezing, a runny or congested nose, and swollen, itchy eyes.
Many of these ragweed sufferers may also experience a sense of malaise and even depression, suggests a study reported in the July-August Psychosomatic Medicine.
The study was conducted by Paul Marshall, Ph.D., director of the neuropsychology section and the department of psychiatry at Hennepin County Medical Center in Minneapolis; Christine O’Hara, R.N., a research nurse coordinator with the Hennepin County Medical Center; and Paul Steinberg, M.D., director of the division of allergy and immunology at Bassett Healthcare in Cooperstown, N.Y.
Allergists have occasionally reported that persons with ragweed allergies may feel fatigued and mentally "down" during ragweed season. Two large epidemiological studies have also suggested an intriguing link between ragweed allergy and depression.
In one study, of some 700 randomly selected children, those with hay fever were found to be twice as likely to develop a major depressive episode over the next few years than those without hay fever. In the other, of approximately 7,000 adults, those with hay fever were twice as likely to have been diagnosed with major depression within the previous year than those without hay fever.
So Marshall and his coworkers set out to determine whether there is truly a connection between ragweed allergy and fatigue or between ragweed allergy and depression.
They recruited 57 subjects who were either allergic to ragweed or served as controls. Both allergic and control subjects were similar with respect to age, sex, intelligence, and years of education. None was preselected because of complaints about fatigue or depression. They then tested the subjects for fatigue and depression during ragweed season 1996, winter 1997, ragweed season 1997, and ragweed season 1998.
During the testing periods, subjects filled out the Multidimensional Fatigue Inventory, a 20-item, self-report instrument that measured both mental and physical fatigue. They also rated their moods with the Positive Affect Negative Affect Scales, which measured positive mood states such as high energy and full concentration, and negative mood states such as sadness and lethargy. Allergy subjects used no allergy medications to avoid confounding test results. Findings for the allergy subjects per season were compared, as were findings for control subjects per season.
Allergy subjects, the researchers found, reported more mental and motivational fatigue, but not more physical fatigue, during ragweed season than in winter, and the differences were statistically significant. These subjects also reported statistically significant changes in mood between ragweed season and winter, their moods being more negative during the former.
As for controls, there was no statistically significant difference between their mental and physical energy levels in ragweed season and in winter. The same held true for their moods.
Several hypotheses might explain why ragweed sufferers endure more negative moods during allergy season. One possibility, of course, is that people who have allergies to ragweed feel mentally depleted because of the physical suffering that their allergies impose on them. Another is that their mental distress comes from allergy-induced sleep loss. And yet a third explanation—the one Marshall and his colleagues favor since ragweed allergy seems to sap mental but not physical energy—is that ragweed allergy provokes its negative mental effects by acting directly on the brain.
For instance, as the researchers pointed out in their study report, ragweed is known to be capable of forcing nose and lung cells to release cytokines—little proteins that play a role in immune responses. Severely depressed patients have been found to have higher concentrations of such cytokines in their cerebrospinal fluid.
Thus, ragweed might prompt, in persons allergic to it, the release of cytokines from lung cells. The cytokines in the lung cells might then excite the vagus nerve, which innervates the lungs, and the excited vagus nerve might then signal the brain, thereby unleashing malaise and depression.
The study was partly funded by Pfizer Inc.
An abstract of the study, "Effects of Seasonal Allergic Rhinitis on Fatigue Levels and Mood," can be accessed at www.psychosomaticmedicine.org by clicking on "Search an Issue from the Archive" and then the "July-August 2002 issue." {blacksquare}
This article is quite relevant:
Psychiatric News September 20, 2002
Volume 37 Number 18
© 2002 American Psychiatric Association
p. 23
Clinical & Research News
Ragweed Allergy May Trigger Depression, Malaise
Joan Arehart-Treichel
Sneezing, a runny or congested nose, and swollen, itchy eyes are the well-known symptoms of ragweed allergy. And to those should be added malaise and depression, at least for some ragweed sufferers.
August and September are rarely a favorite time of year for the some 36 million Americans who suffer from ragweed allergies. During these weeks, ragweed pollen moves their immune systems into high gear and leads to sneezing, a runny or congested nose, and swollen, itchy eyes.
Many of these ragweed sufferers may also experience a sense of malaise and even depression, suggests a study reported in the July-August Psychosomatic Medicine.
The study was conducted by Paul Marshall, Ph.D., director of the neuropsychology section and the department of psychiatry at Hennepin County Medical Center in Minneapolis; Christine O’Hara, R.N., a research nurse coordinator with the Hennepin County Medical Center; and Paul Steinberg, M.D., director of the division of allergy and immunology at Bassett Healthcare in Cooperstown, N.Y.
Allergists have occasionally reported that persons with ragweed allergies may feel fatigued and mentally "down" during ragweed season. Two large epidemiological studies have also suggested an intriguing link between ragweed allergy and depression.
In one study, of some 700 randomly selected children, those with hay fever were found to be twice as likely to develop a major depressive episode over the next few years than those without hay fever. In the other, of approximately 7,000 adults, those with hay fever were twice as likely to have been diagnosed with major depression within the previous year than those without hay fever.
So Marshall and his coworkers set out to determine whether there is truly a connection between ragweed allergy and fatigue or between ragweed allergy and depression.
They recruited 57 subjects who were either allergic to ragweed or served as controls. Both allergic and control subjects were similar with respect to age, sex, intelligence, and years of education. None was preselected because of complaints about fatigue or depression. They then tested the subjects for fatigue and depression during ragweed season 1996, winter 1997, ragweed season 1997, and ragweed season 1998.
During the testing periods, subjects filled out the Multidimensional Fatigue Inventory, a 20-item, self-report instrument that measured both mental and physical fatigue. They also rated their moods with the Positive Affect Negative Affect Scales, which measured positive mood states such as high energy and full concentration, and negative mood states such as sadness and lethargy. Allergy subjects used no allergy medications to avoid confounding test results. Findings for the allergy subjects per season were compared, as were findings for control subjects per season.
Allergy subjects, the researchers found, reported more mental and motivational fatigue, but not more physical fatigue, during ragweed season than in winter, and the differences were statistically significant. These subjects also reported statistically significant changes in mood between ragweed season and winter, their moods being more negative during the former.
As for controls, there was no statistically significant difference between their mental and physical energy levels in ragweed season and in winter. The same held true for their moods.
Several hypotheses might explain why ragweed sufferers endure more negative moods during allergy season. One possibility, of course, is that people who have allergies to ragweed feel mentally depleted because of the physical suffering that their allergies impose on them. Another is that their mental distress comes from allergy-induced sleep loss. And yet a third explanation—the one Marshall and his colleagues favor since ragweed allergy seems to sap mental but not physical energy—is that ragweed allergy provokes its negative mental effects by acting directly on the brain.
For instance, as the researchers pointed out in their study report, ragweed is known to be capable of forcing nose and lung cells to release cytokines—little proteins that play a role in immune responses. Severely depressed patients have been found to have higher concentrations of such cytokines in their cerebrospinal fluid.
Thus, ragweed might prompt, in persons allergic to it, the release of cytokines from lung cells. The cytokines in the lung cells might then excite the vagus nerve, which innervates the lungs, and the excited vagus nerve might then signal the brain, thereby unleashing malaise and depression.
The study was partly funded by Pfizer Inc.
An abstract of the study, "Effects of Seasonal Allergic Rhinitis on Fatigue Levels and Mood," can be accessed at www.psychosomaticmedicine.org by clicking on "Search an Issue from the Archive" and then the "July-August 2002 issue." {blacksquare}
Monday, June 18, 2007
Time for renewal
No matter how much I prepare for moving, it still becomes a stressful event. To give you a sense of what I went through this weekend my movers were 6 hours late and scratched up my dining room table. At least I HAD movers as it would have taken a long time to do everything without them.
Now, to finish unpacking. This part is a mentally healthy event. Establishing order in my surroundings is something others with anxiety disorders can relate to, I'm sure.
Now, to finish unpacking. This part is a mentally healthy event. Establishing order in my surroundings is something others with anxiety disorders can relate to, I'm sure.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Moving, Part 2
I have not forgotten about my loyal readers! Things have been very busy. My partner and I are moving again. Yes, it was only last November that I wrote about the stress of moving. While we are much more prepared this time, I'm still a little anxious - hoping everything goes smoothly.
We will be moving within Ottawa and this time around we bought a house, a townhome, actually. We hadn't planned on moving so soon. However, our landlady would like to occupy her home - something we could never have planned for.
While I work on the move, I'll leave you with some reading during my short absence.
Interesting stories to check out:
-54 million people suffer from mental illness (United Nations)
-scientific breakthrough with stem cells provides hope for better treatment of Alzheimer's and diabetes
-gene discovery to aid in the development of new treatments for bipolar disorder, Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, high blood pressure and Crohn's disease.
-Systems Enhancement Evaluation Initiative (SEEI) suggests that the new money invested in Ontario's mental health since 2004 is making an impact.
-Regina, Saskatchewan struggling to hire more mental health professionals; rates of mental illness much higher among low-income population - study's results reflect the incidence of mental illness in the poor around the world
We will be moving within Ottawa and this time around we bought a house, a townhome, actually. We hadn't planned on moving so soon. However, our landlady would like to occupy her home - something we could never have planned for.
While I work on the move, I'll leave you with some reading during my short absence.
Interesting stories to check out:
-54 million people suffer from mental illness (United Nations)
-scientific breakthrough with stem cells provides hope for better treatment of Alzheimer's and diabetes
-gene discovery to aid in the development of new treatments for bipolar disorder, Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, high blood pressure and Crohn's disease.
-Systems Enhancement Evaluation Initiative (SEEI) suggests that the new money invested in Ontario's mental health since 2004 is making an impact.
-Regina, Saskatchewan struggling to hire more mental health professionals; rates of mental illness much higher among low-income population - study's results reflect the incidence of mental illness in the poor around the world
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Going Green for Mental Health
The environment, being green - it's all over the news and a big topic of conversation.
I had always thought of myself as environmentally-friendly, but with all the commotion lately, I've felt the urge to make further improvements.
Something as simple as walking to the store for groceries, instead of driving, will greatly reduce impact on air quality. Plus, the behaviour provides great benefits to one's physical and mental health. For me, I find the simple act of changing a behaviour into a more positive one makes me feel better. Furthermore, getting fresh air, a little sun, and exercise from the process are added bonuses.
During my shopping excursion, I purchased canvas/cloth grocery bags from my local Loblaws/Superstore for 99 cents each. I now have half a dozen bags to carry my food home more easily (without the stretching and ripping of plastic). An added bonus to my mental health: putting an end to the accumulation of non-biodegradable plastic bags stuffed under my kitchen sink which annoyingly fall out when I open the cupboard.
Other little things you can do to improve the environment and reap the benefits toward better mental health:
-reduce transportation emissions from buying local produce and derive a warm, fuzzy feeling from improving your own community / local economy
-instead of sending items to the landfill, donate used clothes and furniture to a local charity or second-hand shop
-turn off lights and electronics when not in use, not only will the environment thank you so will your mental health when you see that your monthly bills are lowered
How are you helping the environment? What have you tried? Do you notice any benefits toward your mental health, direct or indirect?
I am interested in hearing everyone's comments.
I had always thought of myself as environmentally-friendly, but with all the commotion lately, I've felt the urge to make further improvements.
Something as simple as walking to the store for groceries, instead of driving, will greatly reduce impact on air quality. Plus, the behaviour provides great benefits to one's physical and mental health. For me, I find the simple act of changing a behaviour into a more positive one makes me feel better. Furthermore, getting fresh air, a little sun, and exercise from the process are added bonuses.
During my shopping excursion, I purchased canvas/cloth grocery bags from my local Loblaws/Superstore for 99 cents each. I now have half a dozen bags to carry my food home more easily (without the stretching and ripping of plastic). An added bonus to my mental health: putting an end to the accumulation of non-biodegradable plastic bags stuffed under my kitchen sink which annoyingly fall out when I open the cupboard.
Other little things you can do to improve the environment and reap the benefits toward better mental health:
-reduce transportation emissions from buying local produce and derive a warm, fuzzy feeling from improving your own community / local economy
-instead of sending items to the landfill, donate used clothes and furniture to a local charity or second-hand shop
-turn off lights and electronics when not in use, not only will the environment thank you so will your mental health when you see that your monthly bills are lowered
How are you helping the environment? What have you tried? Do you notice any benefits toward your mental health, direct or indirect?
I am interested in hearing everyone's comments.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
On gratitude
It’s Sunday and my partner needed to spend a day at the office. I thought I’d be productive and get some work done too. So, we drove downtown together and went our separate ways to clock time.
My first stop was the public library at 11:00 a.m. I pulled on the door handle and it was stuck – actually – it was locked. I noticed the hours of operation posted nearby. To my surprise, the main branch does not open until 1:00 p.m. on Sundays.
Laptop in tow, I found a spot across the street at a coffee shop. A “Hot Spot”, Internet users can log-on for a fee and enjoy some steaming brew. I have used wireless in coffee shops before. My usual haunt offers wireless for free and the simplicity of entering a password provided by the cashier. At today’s location, I was instructed to provide my cell phone number…in order to receive a text message with the necessary password…for $7.50 an hour.
Well, I forgot my cell phone at home and my Blackberry is on the fritz so this wasn’t going to work. A second option was available to gain access by paying with credit card. But, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. The fee, frustration, and security concern of entering my info during public Internet access was all too much for me.
I decided to try something I haven’t tried in a long time – work on my laptop without my Internet running in the background. For some of you reading, you know this task is not as easy as it sounds. As a communications professional, I am glued to Google searches, email, news sites, and dictionary.com. It is my job after all.
I managed to put in 2 hours of work this way. It felt good, but I was still experiencing some Internet withdrawal.
At 1:00 p.m. I maintained my work ethic and re-visited the library. I renewed my card with the help of a friendly librarian. While I visit bookstores regularly and use university libraries’ services online, sadly, I hadn’t been to the public library for ages – so long that my card had expired and disappeared.
I perused the psychology, marketing and fundraising sections. I found a few titles to borrow and signed them out using the self-checkout machine.
Since I didn’t have my cell phone with me, I thought I’d fire off an email to my partner to find out if he was ready to meet and head home. Blackberry dead, I opened my laptop to go online. I soon found out there isn’t wireless at the Public Library.
I grabbed a seat at one of the many desktop computers lined along the wall. Although unoccupied, the half-dozen or so free computers had holds placed on them. I found out from the librarian that I would have to go downstairs to a different set of computers to place a hold on one the computers upstairs.
With some patience left, I went downstairs only to find all the computers were occupied – presumably by people booking their time for the computers upstairs???
Alas, without Internet or a cell phone, I did another something else that I haven’t done in awhile…..I used the pay phone.
Am I addicted to the Internet? Perhaps. Impatient? Perhaps.
Today, I was reminded not to take things for granted. And I’m not just referring to technology.
I saw many kinds of people at the library. There were people looking for jobs, friends and, for some, a warm place to stay/sleep during the rain. For them, the library is an important public facility.
Clearly, one person’s frustration is another’s satisfaction.
Isabella Mori has it right. It’s important to think about gratefulness on a regular basis. I remember writing about my gratitude often as a part of my recovery from mental illness. This simple action helped me through the worst of times.
Here are just a few of things I am grateful for today:
-waking up, healthy, in a great house with the love of my life
-enjoying breakfast with my family (my parents were in town)
-the kind person working at the coffee shop
-the kind person working at the library
-having a car in order to drive downtown and free parking on Sunday
-Canadian artists (I’m watching the Juno Awards)
-spring flowers
-clean air
-rain
What are you grateful for?
My first stop was the public library at 11:00 a.m. I pulled on the door handle and it was stuck – actually – it was locked. I noticed the hours of operation posted nearby. To my surprise, the main branch does not open until 1:00 p.m. on Sundays.
Laptop in tow, I found a spot across the street at a coffee shop. A “Hot Spot”, Internet users can log-on for a fee and enjoy some steaming brew. I have used wireless in coffee shops before. My usual haunt offers wireless for free and the simplicity of entering a password provided by the cashier. At today’s location, I was instructed to provide my cell phone number…in order to receive a text message with the necessary password…for $7.50 an hour.
Well, I forgot my cell phone at home and my Blackberry is on the fritz so this wasn’t going to work. A second option was available to gain access by paying with credit card. But, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. The fee, frustration, and security concern of entering my info during public Internet access was all too much for me.
I decided to try something I haven’t tried in a long time – work on my laptop without my Internet running in the background. For some of you reading, you know this task is not as easy as it sounds. As a communications professional, I am glued to Google searches, email, news sites, and dictionary.com. It is my job after all.
I managed to put in 2 hours of work this way. It felt good, but I was still experiencing some Internet withdrawal.
At 1:00 p.m. I maintained my work ethic and re-visited the library. I renewed my card with the help of a friendly librarian. While I visit bookstores regularly and use university libraries’ services online, sadly, I hadn’t been to the public library for ages – so long that my card had expired and disappeared.
I perused the psychology, marketing and fundraising sections. I found a few titles to borrow and signed them out using the self-checkout machine.
Since I didn’t have my cell phone with me, I thought I’d fire off an email to my partner to find out if he was ready to meet and head home. Blackberry dead, I opened my laptop to go online. I soon found out there isn’t wireless at the Public Library.
I grabbed a seat at one of the many desktop computers lined along the wall. Although unoccupied, the half-dozen or so free computers had holds placed on them. I found out from the librarian that I would have to go downstairs to a different set of computers to place a hold on one the computers upstairs.
With some patience left, I went downstairs only to find all the computers were occupied – presumably by people booking their time for the computers upstairs???
Alas, without Internet or a cell phone, I did another something else that I haven’t done in awhile…..I used the pay phone.
Am I addicted to the Internet? Perhaps. Impatient? Perhaps.
Today, I was reminded not to take things for granted. And I’m not just referring to technology.
I saw many kinds of people at the library. There were people looking for jobs, friends and, for some, a warm place to stay/sleep during the rain. For them, the library is an important public facility.
Clearly, one person’s frustration is another’s satisfaction.
Isabella Mori has it right. It’s important to think about gratefulness on a regular basis. I remember writing about my gratitude often as a part of my recovery from mental illness. This simple action helped me through the worst of times.
Here are just a few of things I am grateful for today:
-waking up, healthy, in a great house with the love of my life
-enjoying breakfast with my family (my parents were in town)
-the kind person working at the coffee shop
-the kind person working at the library
-having a car in order to drive downtown and free parking on Sunday
-Canadian artists (I’m watching the Juno Awards)
-spring flowers
-clean air
-rain
What are you grateful for?
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Me?
I've been told by many people that it is time to tell my own story and, well, this would be a fine place to do it. I guess you could say that I hold a slight personal stigma (what a hypocrite!). As someone so passionate for the promotion of mental health, you'd think that it would be easy for me to do.
I have no problem discussing my story with people face-to-face, even with people I hardly know. In fact, I enjoy the occasion to do so. I guess the act of writing evokes deeper feelings from inside and it also necessitates greater detail. How much would you like to know?
My story is also quite long - at least to me! Where would I begin? The present? Childhood?
I greatly respect others who tell their story. Thus, I should reciprocate with my own. Perhaps some of my readers can suggest what they would like to hear and I could take it from there.
Considering it,
Jennifer
I have no problem discussing my story with people face-to-face, even with people I hardly know. In fact, I enjoy the occasion to do so. I guess the act of writing evokes deeper feelings from inside and it also necessitates greater detail. How much would you like to know?
My story is also quite long - at least to me! Where would I begin? The present? Childhood?
I greatly respect others who tell their story. Thus, I should reciprocate with my own. Perhaps some of my readers can suggest what they would like to hear and I could take it from there.
Considering it,
Jennifer
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