Obviously, I've been inactive in posting for 2 months. In part, this was because I was undergoing psychiatric evaluation and wanted to wait until the assessment was complete. The words "psychiatric evaluation" may scare some people. That's normal, I suppose, but not necessarily right in my opinion. Hopefully, this will change over time.
For the record, I am completely fine - very healthy. I was asked by my GP last fall if I'd ever seen a psychiatrist. While I had been diagnosed with depression previously (I am not depressed now), I'd always been curious about my anxiety condition. I was quite sick 4 years ago and had not received a detailed diagnosis. I literally jumped at the offer to see the psychiatrist. I think I made a positive choice in learning more about my body, my mind, and myself.
As it turns out, what I've been living with for years is Panic Disorder (with mild agoraphobia). I'd rather call it a condition and not a disorder - but I'm not ashamed to live with it. In an acute state it can make life quite disorderly. However, when it's under control, like in my situation, I can live a very good life. I think the more people who talk about mental illness, the faster we can debunk the stigma surrounding it. So, I am not worried about telling the world.
Below you'll find a definition of Panic Disorder from the Canadian Mental Health Association.
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Fear is a natural, instinctive reaction to dangerous situations. It is what causes us to escape from a burning building. A sudden rush of fear protects us, by alerting us to danger and stimulating adrenaline so that we think and move more rapidly than usual. But for people with phobias or panic disorder, fear is an overwhelming and unwelcome feature of their daily lives. They are struck by fears which they know are irrational and illogical, yet which are so powerful and unpredictable that they drastically change their lives to avoid feared situations.
Phobias and panic disorder are anxiety disorders, which are among the most common of mental health problems. In fact, it is estimated that 1 in 10 people are affected by anxiety disorders. These conditions are medical disorders, but they are often mistaken for weakness or self-indulgence. Because of this common mistake and because of the stigma associated with mental illness, people with anxiety disorders are often misunderstood and neglected, by society and sometimes by health care professionals.
Treatment exists to help people with phobias and panic disorder, and research into new therapies and techniques continues. By learning more about these conditions, you can help remove the social stigma that prevents so many people from seeking help to cope with their illness.
It is estimated that some 2 million Canadians suffer from panic disorder. Of those who have sought treatment for their symptoms, approximately two-thirds are women. Panic disorder typically begins in a person's late teen years, or early 2Os, but children are known to suffer from the disorder. Research is discovering more information about genetic causes of panic disorder.
Agoraphobia frequently accompanies panic disorder. This is the fear of being in places or situations which would be difficult to escape from, or in which it would be difficult to find help, should a person suffer a panic attack.
Panic Disorder without Agoraphobia - Panic attacks are terrifying episodes during which the person is convinced they are about to die or collapse. Without warning, an individual is suddenly overwhelmed by emotional and physical sensations that signal imminent death. These can include heart palpitations, choking, nausea, faintness, dizziness, chest pain and sweating.
Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia - Women are roughly twice as likely as men to be diagnosed with panic disorder with agoraphobia. This occurs when a person with panic disorder goes to great lengths to avoid situations which they feel they could not escape from or obtain help if struck by a panic attack. In some cases, people develop a fear of being alone. People with agoraphobia often avoid public transport or shopping malls, others refuse to leave their homes, sometimes for years at a time.
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Not fun stuff. But, I made it through! I don't wish to go into further detail at this time. But, I will accept emails and do my best to respond to them individually if there are questions or comments.
My second reason for not posting of late is because I am focusing my energies on community volunteerism and other forms of advocacy, primarily "in person". I feel that it is the best way for me to help others at this point in my life. I may still post from time to time, but infrequently.
To all Ottawa readers, I encourage you to check out eMentalHealth.ca for your mental health resource needs. The site includes a wealth of information on housing and employment resources, counseling and crisis services, etc.
Thanks for reading,
Jennifer
Showing posts with label recovery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label recovery. Show all posts
Monday, February 11, 2008
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Average length of hospital stay higher for mental illness patients
October 11, 2007--A new annual report from the Canadian Institute for Health Information shows that in 2004-2005 patients diagnosed with mental illness represented 6% of all general hospital discharges or deaths (separations) in Canada, but 13% of all inpatient days. This is due to the fact that, on average, mental illness patients had longer stays in general hospitals (17 days) compared to other patients (7 days). The average length of stay was even longer for those in psychiatric hospitals (109 days, excluding Quebec data).
During the same period, mood disorders were the primary diagnoses in over a third (34%) of all mental illness separations for general and psychiatric hospitals combined, followed by schizophrenic and psychotic disorders (21%) and substance-related disorders (16%). The mood-disorder diagnosis group was the largest for all provinces and territories, with the exception of the Northwest Territories, where the substance-related disorder group was the largest.
Hospital Mental Health Services in Canada, 2004-2005
During the same period, mood disorders were the primary diagnoses in over a third (34%) of all mental illness separations for general and psychiatric hospitals combined, followed by schizophrenic and psychotic disorders (21%) and substance-related disorders (16%). The mood-disorder diagnosis group was the largest for all provinces and territories, with the exception of the Northwest Territories, where the substance-related disorder group was the largest.
Hospital Mental Health Services in Canada, 2004-2005
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Mental Illness Awareness Week 2007
Dear readers,
I'd like to reach out and say I'm thinking about those of you who are currently experiencing mental illness and those who have lost someone to suicide. Whether or not we know each other, I'm listening.
~Let there be light~
Jennifer
Faces of Mental Illness Awareness Week 2007
Meet this year's Faces
My story from MIAW 2006
About Mental Illness Awareness Week
Mental Illness Awareness Week (MIAW) is an annual national public education campaign designed to help open the eyes of Canadians to the reality of mental illness. The week was established in 1992 by the Canadian Psychiatric Association, and is now coordinated by the Canadian Alliance on Mental Illness and Mental Health (CAMIMH) in cooperation with all its member organizations and many other supporters across Canada.
Campaign elements include: a grassroots public education initiative; a nationally-distributed poster and bookmark series; the 5th Annual Champions of Mental Health Awards luncheon in Ottawa and an education initiative with federal Members of Parliament, both in their home ridings and on Parliament Hill.
I'd like to reach out and say I'm thinking about those of you who are currently experiencing mental illness and those who have lost someone to suicide. Whether or not we know each other, I'm listening.
~Let there be light~
Jennifer
Faces of Mental Illness Awareness Week 2007
Meet this year's Faces
My story from MIAW 2006
About Mental Illness Awareness Week
Mental Illness Awareness Week (MIAW) is an annual national public education campaign designed to help open the eyes of Canadians to the reality of mental illness. The week was established in 1992 by the Canadian Psychiatric Association, and is now coordinated by the Canadian Alliance on Mental Illness and Mental Health (CAMIMH) in cooperation with all its member organizations and many other supporters across Canada.
Campaign elements include: a grassroots public education initiative; a nationally-distributed poster and bookmark series; the 5th Annual Champions of Mental Health Awards luncheon in Ottawa and an education initiative with federal Members of Parliament, both in their home ridings and on Parliament Hill.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Mental disorders account for more than half of hospital stays among the homeless in Canada
New CIHI report offers overview of links between mental health, mental illness and homelessness
August 30, 2007—Mental disorders accounted for 52% of acute care hospitalizations among the homeless in 2005–2006 (outside Quebec), according to a new report released today by the Canadian Institute for Health Information (CIHI). In addition, the report shows that 35% of visits to selected emergency departments (EDs)—mostly in Ontario—by homeless people were related to mental and behavioural disorders, a proportion that is higher than that for other patients (3%).
The Improving the Health of Canadians: Mental Health and Homelessness report provides an overview of the latest research, surveys and policy initiatives related to mental health and homelessness and, for the first time, presents data on hospital use by homeless Canadians.
“Mental illness affects a broad range of Canadians; most people with compromised mental health are not homeless, and many people who are homeless have never been diagnosed with a mental illness,” says Dr. Jennifer Zelmer, Vice President, Research and Analysis at CIHI. “However, studies show that people who are homeless are more likely to suffer from a mental illness or compromised mental health than the general population.”
For example, the leading reasons for hospital use were different for homeless patients and others. Mental disorders were the most common diagnoses among homeless patients admitted to an acute care hospital in 2005–2006 (52% of admissions). The most frequent reasons for hospitalization among other patients were pregnancy and childbirth (13%). Likewise, 35% of visits by homeless persons to selected EDs (mostly in Ontario) were related to mental disorders; injury and poisonings were the most common reasons for ED visits among other patients (25%). Among ED patients recorded as homeless, the most common type of mental disorder was substance abuse, which accounted for 54% of visits (62% for homeless men and 30% for homeless women), followed by other psychotic disorders (20% of visits), such as schizophrenia.
Homelessness linked with stress, coping, low self-esteem, low levels of social support and suicide
The report notes many factors both at the individual and broader social level—such as housing, income and the ability to cope—that have been shown to contribute to the onset or duration of homelessness. Many of these same factors are also linked to compromised mental health.
“This report explores the complex relationship between mental health and homelessness,” says Dr. Elizabeth Votta, Program Lead at the Canadian Population Health Initiative, a program of CIHI. “People with severe mental illness may experience limited housing, employment and income options. On the other hand, people who are homeless tend to report higher stress, lower self-worth, less social support and different coping strategies, factors that are associated with depressive symptoms, substance abuse, suicidal behaviours and poor self-rated health.”
Research cited in the report indicates that the homeless often experience more difficulty coping with stress, experience lower self-esteem and have less social support than people who are not homeless. For example:
-A study in Ottawa revealed that homeless male youth reported stress levels more than twice as high as levels reported by a group of non-homeless youth.
-A study in Kitchener–Waterloo showed that street youth were more likely to engage in substance abuse and self-harm as a means of coping. Non-homeless youth were more likely to cope by talking to someone they trusted or through productive problem-solving.
-A national survey found that 2% of males and 6% of females aged 15 to 24 reported having attempted suicide in Canada. Studies report higher rates among homeless youth. For example, a 2006 British Columbia survey indicates that 15% of males and 30% of females who were street-involved and marginalized reported having attempted suicide at least once in the previous 12 months.
The report also cites many examples of research linking mental illness and homelessness. These studies, conducted across Canada with different methods and over different periods of time, tended to show higher levels of diagnosed mental illness among people who were homeless than among the population as a whole. Several studies also indicate that rates of substance abuse are higher among the homeless than among other Canadians. Research suggests that homeless individuals with both a substance abuse disorder and a mental illness diagnosis are likely to remain homeless longer than others.
Canadian Population Health Initiative
The Canadian Population Health Initiative (CPHI) is part of the Canadian Institute for Health Information (CIHI). CPHI supports research to advance knowledge on the determinants of health in Canada and to develop policy options to improve population health and reduce health inequalities.
About CIHI
The Canadian Institute for Health Information (CIHI) collects and analyzes information on health and health care in Canada and makes it publicly available. Canada’s federal, provincial and territorial governments created CIHI as a not-for-profit, independent organization dedicated to forging a common approach to Canadian health information. CIHI’s goal: to provide timely, accurate and comparable information. CIHI’s data and reports inform health policies, support the effective delivery of health services and raise awareness among Canadians of the factors that contribute to good health.
- 30 -
Media contacts:
Christina Lawand
613-241-7860 ext. 4310
Cell: 613-299-5695
clawand@cihi.ca
Leona Hollingsworth
613-241-7860 ext. 4140
Cell: 613-612-3914
lhollingsworth@cihi.ca
The report and the following figures and tables are available from CIHI’s website at www.cihi.ca.
Table 1. Top Five Reasons for Emergency Department Visits by the Homeless and Others, 2005–2006 (based on Table 4 in the report)
Table 2. Top Five Reasons for Inpatient Hospitalization Among the Homeless and Others, 2005–2006 (based on Table 5 in the report)
Table 3. Reported Mental Illness Among Canada’s Homeless in a Sample of Canadian Cities: Results From Selected Studies (based on Table 2 in the report)
August 30, 2007—Mental disorders accounted for 52% of acute care hospitalizations among the homeless in 2005–2006 (outside Quebec), according to a new report released today by the Canadian Institute for Health Information (CIHI). In addition, the report shows that 35% of visits to selected emergency departments (EDs)—mostly in Ontario—by homeless people were related to mental and behavioural disorders, a proportion that is higher than that for other patients (3%).
The Improving the Health of Canadians: Mental Health and Homelessness report provides an overview of the latest research, surveys and policy initiatives related to mental health and homelessness and, for the first time, presents data on hospital use by homeless Canadians.
“Mental illness affects a broad range of Canadians; most people with compromised mental health are not homeless, and many people who are homeless have never been diagnosed with a mental illness,” says Dr. Jennifer Zelmer, Vice President, Research and Analysis at CIHI. “However, studies show that people who are homeless are more likely to suffer from a mental illness or compromised mental health than the general population.”
For example, the leading reasons for hospital use were different for homeless patients and others. Mental disorders were the most common diagnoses among homeless patients admitted to an acute care hospital in 2005–2006 (52% of admissions). The most frequent reasons for hospitalization among other patients were pregnancy and childbirth (13%). Likewise, 35% of visits by homeless persons to selected EDs (mostly in Ontario) were related to mental disorders; injury and poisonings were the most common reasons for ED visits among other patients (25%). Among ED patients recorded as homeless, the most common type of mental disorder was substance abuse, which accounted for 54% of visits (62% for homeless men and 30% for homeless women), followed by other psychotic disorders (20% of visits), such as schizophrenia.
Homelessness linked with stress, coping, low self-esteem, low levels of social support and suicide
The report notes many factors both at the individual and broader social level—such as housing, income and the ability to cope—that have been shown to contribute to the onset or duration of homelessness. Many of these same factors are also linked to compromised mental health.
“This report explores the complex relationship between mental health and homelessness,” says Dr. Elizabeth Votta, Program Lead at the Canadian Population Health Initiative, a program of CIHI. “People with severe mental illness may experience limited housing, employment and income options. On the other hand, people who are homeless tend to report higher stress, lower self-worth, less social support and different coping strategies, factors that are associated with depressive symptoms, substance abuse, suicidal behaviours and poor self-rated health.”
Research cited in the report indicates that the homeless often experience more difficulty coping with stress, experience lower self-esteem and have less social support than people who are not homeless. For example:
-A study in Ottawa revealed that homeless male youth reported stress levels more than twice as high as levels reported by a group of non-homeless youth.
-A study in Kitchener–Waterloo showed that street youth were more likely to engage in substance abuse and self-harm as a means of coping. Non-homeless youth were more likely to cope by talking to someone they trusted or through productive problem-solving.
-A national survey found that 2% of males and 6% of females aged 15 to 24 reported having attempted suicide in Canada. Studies report higher rates among homeless youth. For example, a 2006 British Columbia survey indicates that 15% of males and 30% of females who were street-involved and marginalized reported having attempted suicide at least once in the previous 12 months.
The report also cites many examples of research linking mental illness and homelessness. These studies, conducted across Canada with different methods and over different periods of time, tended to show higher levels of diagnosed mental illness among people who were homeless than among the population as a whole. Several studies also indicate that rates of substance abuse are higher among the homeless than among other Canadians. Research suggests that homeless individuals with both a substance abuse disorder and a mental illness diagnosis are likely to remain homeless longer than others.
Canadian Population Health Initiative
The Canadian Population Health Initiative (CPHI) is part of the Canadian Institute for Health Information (CIHI). CPHI supports research to advance knowledge on the determinants of health in Canada and to develop policy options to improve population health and reduce health inequalities.
About CIHI
The Canadian Institute for Health Information (CIHI) collects and analyzes information on health and health care in Canada and makes it publicly available. Canada’s federal, provincial and territorial governments created CIHI as a not-for-profit, independent organization dedicated to forging a common approach to Canadian health information. CIHI’s goal: to provide timely, accurate and comparable information. CIHI’s data and reports inform health policies, support the effective delivery of health services and raise awareness among Canadians of the factors that contribute to good health.
- 30 -
Media contacts:
Christina Lawand
613-241-7860 ext. 4310
Cell: 613-299-5695
clawand@cihi.ca
Leona Hollingsworth
613-241-7860 ext. 4140
Cell: 613-612-3914
lhollingsworth@cihi.ca
The report and the following figures and tables are available from CIHI’s website at www.cihi.ca.
Table 1. Top Five Reasons for Emergency Department Visits by the Homeless and Others, 2005–2006 (based on Table 4 in the report)
Table 2. Top Five Reasons for Inpatient Hospitalization Among the Homeless and Others, 2005–2006 (based on Table 5 in the report)
Table 3. Reported Mental Illness Among Canada’s Homeless in a Sample of Canadian Cities: Results From Selected Studies (based on Table 2 in the report)
Friday, May 25, 2007
What is recovery?
The National Network For Mental Health (NNMH) included these definitions of recovery in its latest newsletter. They are taken from ReStorying Psychiatric Disability: Learning From First Person Accounts of Recovery (P. Ridgeway, 2001).
*Recovery is the reawakening of hope after despair.
*Recovery is breaking through denial and achieving understanding and acceptance.
*Recovery is moving from withdrawal to engagement and active participation in life.
*Recovery is active coping rather than passive adjustment.
*Recovery means no longer viewing oneself primarily as a mental patient and reclaiming a positive sense of self.
*Recovery is a journey from alienation to purpose.
*Recovery is a complex journey.
*Recovery is not accomplished alone-it involves support and partnership.
My favourite description above is that of recovery as a complex journey. Illness & recovery are not black & white phenomena. One can follow the other. But, they can be cyclical as well. Also, a person can be both recovering and experiencing illness simultaneously.
While professional intervention can be helpful in determining one's stage in the recovery process, a person should evaluate his/her intrinsic state. Only then, can one determine his/her place in the journey of recovery. In other words, I think professionals provide benchmarks and those in recovery have to look within themselves to more appropriately gauge their progress.
Clearly, recovery is a subjective and personal experience.
How do you define recovery? How does it relate to your personal experiences, mental health-related or others?
*Recovery is the reawakening of hope after despair.
*Recovery is breaking through denial and achieving understanding and acceptance.
*Recovery is moving from withdrawal to engagement and active participation in life.
*Recovery is active coping rather than passive adjustment.
*Recovery means no longer viewing oneself primarily as a mental patient and reclaiming a positive sense of self.
*Recovery is a journey from alienation to purpose.
*Recovery is a complex journey.
*Recovery is not accomplished alone-it involves support and partnership.
My favourite description above is that of recovery as a complex journey. Illness & recovery are not black & white phenomena. One can follow the other. But, they can be cyclical as well. Also, a person can be both recovering and experiencing illness simultaneously.
While professional intervention can be helpful in determining one's stage in the recovery process, a person should evaluate his/her intrinsic state. Only then, can one determine his/her place in the journey of recovery. In other words, I think professionals provide benchmarks and those in recovery have to look within themselves to more appropriately gauge their progress.
Clearly, recovery is a subjective and personal experience.
How do you define recovery? How does it relate to your personal experiences, mental health-related or others?
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Call for volunteers at Mood Disorders Ottawa
Mood Disorders Ottawa (MDO), formerly Depression and Manic Depression Mutual Support Group, is seeking volunteers to help with a variety of functions including fundraising, bookkeeping, and events organization. MDO welcomes volunteers with different backgrounds and skill sets including persons who live with or have recovered from mental illness. The organization is in need of new board members as well who will seek nomination at its June annual general meeting. Board members must be able to meet a time commitment of one evening meeting each month (usually the 1st Wednesday) as well as a couple hours extra per month for board work. Positions to be filled include the roles of President, Vice-President (x2), Treasurer, and others.
The Ottawa-based organization is also looking for speakers for it's upcoming 2007-2008 season. Health professionals are encouraged to share with MDO information relevant to the mood disorders community. These Information Meetings are open to the public and held on the 3rd Tuesday each month from 7:30-9:30 at the Southminster Church, 15 Aylmer Ave.
MDO offers mutual support discussion groups for people with mood disorders to share their experiences. As well, MDO offers a family support group in Orleans and is looking to establishing one downtown. A volunteer is needed to help develop this new group and to facilitate the sessions.
For any questions about MDO and to learn how you can volunteer, please contact Barbara, MDO President, at (613) 729-4831.
The Ottawa-based organization is also looking for speakers for it's upcoming 2007-2008 season. Health professionals are encouraged to share with MDO information relevant to the mood disorders community. These Information Meetings are open to the public and held on the 3rd Tuesday each month from 7:30-9:30 at the Southminster Church, 15 Aylmer Ave.
MDO offers mutual support discussion groups for people with mood disorders to share their experiences. As well, MDO offers a family support group in Orleans and is looking to establishing one downtown. A volunteer is needed to help develop this new group and to facilitate the sessions.
For any questions about MDO and to learn how you can volunteer, please contact Barbara, MDO President, at (613) 729-4831.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
MIAW News / Nouvelles SSMM
The 2006 “Faces” Campaign – Call for Nominations
Once again, we are calling on members of the CAMIMH network to assist us in finding the ‘Faces’ for MIAW 2007. If you know someone who is living successfully with mental illness and who is willing to share their story to inspire others, please nominate them.
To request a nomination package, please send us an email.
La campagne «Visages» 2007 – Demande de candidatures
Une fois de plus, nous faisons appel aux membres du réseau de l’ACMMSM pour nous aider à trouver les «Visages» de la SSMM 2007. Si vous connaissez quelqu’un qui réussit à bien vivre avec la maladie mentale et qui consentirait à partager son histoire pour inspirer d’autres personnes, veuillez proposer sa candidature.
Pour obtenir une trousse de mise en candidature, veuillez nous envoyer un courriel.
--------------------------------------------------------------
I participated in the 2006 campaign. You can visit my profile here.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
On gratitude
It’s Sunday and my partner needed to spend a day at the office. I thought I’d be productive and get some work done too. So, we drove downtown together and went our separate ways to clock time.
My first stop was the public library at 11:00 a.m. I pulled on the door handle and it was stuck – actually – it was locked. I noticed the hours of operation posted nearby. To my surprise, the main branch does not open until 1:00 p.m. on Sundays.
Laptop in tow, I found a spot across the street at a coffee shop. A “Hot Spot”, Internet users can log-on for a fee and enjoy some steaming brew. I have used wireless in coffee shops before. My usual haunt offers wireless for free and the simplicity of entering a password provided by the cashier. At today’s location, I was instructed to provide my cell phone number…in order to receive a text message with the necessary password…for $7.50 an hour.
Well, I forgot my cell phone at home and my Blackberry is on the fritz so this wasn’t going to work. A second option was available to gain access by paying with credit card. But, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. The fee, frustration, and security concern of entering my info during public Internet access was all too much for me.
I decided to try something I haven’t tried in a long time – work on my laptop without my Internet running in the background. For some of you reading, you know this task is not as easy as it sounds. As a communications professional, I am glued to Google searches, email, news sites, and dictionary.com. It is my job after all.
I managed to put in 2 hours of work this way. It felt good, but I was still experiencing some Internet withdrawal.
At 1:00 p.m. I maintained my work ethic and re-visited the library. I renewed my card with the help of a friendly librarian. While I visit bookstores regularly and use university libraries’ services online, sadly, I hadn’t been to the public library for ages – so long that my card had expired and disappeared.
I perused the psychology, marketing and fundraising sections. I found a few titles to borrow and signed them out using the self-checkout machine.
Since I didn’t have my cell phone with me, I thought I’d fire off an email to my partner to find out if he was ready to meet and head home. Blackberry dead, I opened my laptop to go online. I soon found out there isn’t wireless at the Public Library.
I grabbed a seat at one of the many desktop computers lined along the wall. Although unoccupied, the half-dozen or so free computers had holds placed on them. I found out from the librarian that I would have to go downstairs to a different set of computers to place a hold on one the computers upstairs.
With some patience left, I went downstairs only to find all the computers were occupied – presumably by people booking their time for the computers upstairs???
Alas, without Internet or a cell phone, I did another something else that I haven’t done in awhile…..I used the pay phone.
Am I addicted to the Internet? Perhaps. Impatient? Perhaps.
Today, I was reminded not to take things for granted. And I’m not just referring to technology.
I saw many kinds of people at the library. There were people looking for jobs, friends and, for some, a warm place to stay/sleep during the rain. For them, the library is an important public facility.
Clearly, one person’s frustration is another’s satisfaction.
Isabella Mori has it right. It’s important to think about gratefulness on a regular basis. I remember writing about my gratitude often as a part of my recovery from mental illness. This simple action helped me through the worst of times.
Here are just a few of things I am grateful for today:
-waking up, healthy, in a great house with the love of my life
-enjoying breakfast with my family (my parents were in town)
-the kind person working at the coffee shop
-the kind person working at the library
-having a car in order to drive downtown and free parking on Sunday
-Canadian artists (I’m watching the Juno Awards)
-spring flowers
-clean air
-rain
What are you grateful for?
My first stop was the public library at 11:00 a.m. I pulled on the door handle and it was stuck – actually – it was locked. I noticed the hours of operation posted nearby. To my surprise, the main branch does not open until 1:00 p.m. on Sundays.
Laptop in tow, I found a spot across the street at a coffee shop. A “Hot Spot”, Internet users can log-on for a fee and enjoy some steaming brew. I have used wireless in coffee shops before. My usual haunt offers wireless for free and the simplicity of entering a password provided by the cashier. At today’s location, I was instructed to provide my cell phone number…in order to receive a text message with the necessary password…for $7.50 an hour.
Well, I forgot my cell phone at home and my Blackberry is on the fritz so this wasn’t going to work. A second option was available to gain access by paying with credit card. But, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. The fee, frustration, and security concern of entering my info during public Internet access was all too much for me.
I decided to try something I haven’t tried in a long time – work on my laptop without my Internet running in the background. For some of you reading, you know this task is not as easy as it sounds. As a communications professional, I am glued to Google searches, email, news sites, and dictionary.com. It is my job after all.
I managed to put in 2 hours of work this way. It felt good, but I was still experiencing some Internet withdrawal.
At 1:00 p.m. I maintained my work ethic and re-visited the library. I renewed my card with the help of a friendly librarian. While I visit bookstores regularly and use university libraries’ services online, sadly, I hadn’t been to the public library for ages – so long that my card had expired and disappeared.
I perused the psychology, marketing and fundraising sections. I found a few titles to borrow and signed them out using the self-checkout machine.
Since I didn’t have my cell phone with me, I thought I’d fire off an email to my partner to find out if he was ready to meet and head home. Blackberry dead, I opened my laptop to go online. I soon found out there isn’t wireless at the Public Library.
I grabbed a seat at one of the many desktop computers lined along the wall. Although unoccupied, the half-dozen or so free computers had holds placed on them. I found out from the librarian that I would have to go downstairs to a different set of computers to place a hold on one the computers upstairs.
With some patience left, I went downstairs only to find all the computers were occupied – presumably by people booking their time for the computers upstairs???
Alas, without Internet or a cell phone, I did another something else that I haven’t done in awhile…..I used the pay phone.
Am I addicted to the Internet? Perhaps. Impatient? Perhaps.
Today, I was reminded not to take things for granted. And I’m not just referring to technology.
I saw many kinds of people at the library. There were people looking for jobs, friends and, for some, a warm place to stay/sleep during the rain. For them, the library is an important public facility.
Clearly, one person’s frustration is another’s satisfaction.
Isabella Mori has it right. It’s important to think about gratefulness on a regular basis. I remember writing about my gratitude often as a part of my recovery from mental illness. This simple action helped me through the worst of times.
Here are just a few of things I am grateful for today:
-waking up, healthy, in a great house with the love of my life
-enjoying breakfast with my family (my parents were in town)
-the kind person working at the coffee shop
-the kind person working at the library
-having a car in order to drive downtown and free parking on Sunday
-Canadian artists (I’m watching the Juno Awards)
-spring flowers
-clean air
-rain
What are you grateful for?
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